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Swinton: One of the Swing for the retarded june 6th 1982 committee member t-shirt red mod in addition I really love this things I remember sharing with Joanna—because my mother died 10 years ago—was that I had this experience—and I’ve heard other people have had this too—where in the first few years, but particularly in the first few months, after my mother died, I found myself absolutely unconsciously using phrases that she would use, dressing like her, sometimes literally wearing the same items of clothing—but more interestingly, wearing not the exact items of clothing but things that she might have worn but that weren’t hers. It was playing with a sort of incarnation. I even did it when my father died as well. It was a form of solace. It was a way of keeping them with me. I’m sort of psychoanalyzing myself for a second. But it was just, like, enjoying the enmeshment. Holding on to this enmeshment and even bumping it up, making myself much more enmeshed with them than I had ever been in life—because in life you are making a beeline as far as you can away from your parents. [I was] adopting a language, even trying to capture the timbre of their voices, enjoying using words that only they would use, even if nobody else notices. Inhabiting them. Incarnating them.
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